Let Go
by HeartElyse
Summary: Ahsoka has gone, left the order, left the planet the last time Anakin heard, yet with his burdens haunting him, can Anakin truly let go? (Not an Anisoka by the way). (Rated T just incase).


**Let Go...**

ANAKIN'S POV

Anakin's legs were on fire, every muscle burning as he sprinted across the hazy nothingness beneath him, his feet carrying him towards the source of the petrified screams that pierced his soul as savagely as an iron dagger. Deep within the Force, he could sense her presence as if it was apart of him, her fear gushing towards him in waves, crashing more and more harshly against his being until it managed to entwine itself with his own panic, quaking every single fibre of his body. The Force was clouded with the essence of the Dark Side, and with each ragged breath, the more he felt he was suffocating on it.

"Ahsoka!?" He cried, his voice laced with pleading, yet her strangled yells were all he could hear in return. His stomach lurched, his feet skidding to a halt within the bitter fog, attempting feebly to pinpoint where the screams were originating from, yet it was to no prevail. With his knees trembling from the slight over-exertion and her terror linking with his own, he began on his way once more, continuing to run straight ahead, reaching out into the Force and willing himself with all the strength he possessed to not allow his erratic emotions to slip through his fingers. His emotions, his fears were the reason that his mind was hazy and clouded; fear was dangerous in these critical situations, in every situation, yet it somehow always managed to drag him under.

 _Master! Help me!_ Ahsoka's mental presence was suddenly within his mind, her voice howling and dense with agony. Pain, like roaring flames assaulted his mind and body, causing his vision to blur for a moment as he struggled to withstand what was only a shadow of what his Padawan was enduring. He was immobilised for a moment, a hoarse cry escaping his lips before he gritted his teeth, stumbling on through the smoky darkness; despite the pain and although it was pure torture to feel it, it was a relief to Anakin that their connection had remained as strong as ever.

However, his relief died away, a chunk of ice forcing its way into his stomach as the anguished shrieks were cut off as if a blade had slit the throat of the owner, silencing their despairing cries in an instant.

"Ahso-!"

Before he could even finish crying out her name, his tone unsteady in the eery stillness, Anakin felt something that couldn't be seen with the naked eye clasp down with a pincer-like grip on his throat, completely removing his ability to speak. His eyes widened in horror at the realisation of what held him in place, yet it was as if he was too drained to even will the energy to fight the invisible claws that not only grasped him, but also held Ahsoka as well. It was merely an essence, similar to the shadows of Ahsoka's agony that he could feel penetrating his own body, a connection that undivided them from each other's pain, sensations and emotions, that is almost able to make them become one.

Anakin could feel himself swaying under the pressure of the hidden clutches, finding it almost impossible to breathe, his vision beginning to haze over from the lack of oxygen, Ahsoka's pain continuing still to surge through his entire body. His knees were buckling from pure weakness as he reached his limits of what he could endure and felt himself slip through thin air, plummeting into nothingness. The last thing that flashed before his eyes was the sight of Ahsoka, crimson coating her sunset hued body, her feet dangling in mid air as a tall cloaked figure held her by the throat, her neck snapped, the whites of her eyes glowing within the darkness, her lifeless form haunting him forever...

 _You didn't help me... You didn't help me..._

XXX

"AHSOKA!"

Anakin awoke, bolting upright in bed, screaming so loud that he felt as though his throat may tear apart because of it. At first he couldn't seem to make sense of where he was, causing panic to set in, his misty eyes flying around the darkened space, his heart throbbing sickeningly in his stomach, his erratic breaths so shallow that the lightless room began to spin. He could still... _feel her._..as if her large blue eyes were still gazing into his soul, her Force Signature still flowing within him, caressing his wildly quivering body. Yet she wasn't their. It had only been a nightmare, a dream that seemed to continuously replay itself inside his mind every time he closed his drowsy eyes since she'd left the order. It had only been a dream, not reality, leaving him drowning in his own paralysing horror and unimaginable guilt.

It took him several moments to realise that his cheeks were completely sodden with tears, soundless waterfalls cascading down endlessly. Anakin could still feel the ice rolling around in his insides, causing him to feel so cold that he figured he'd soon freeze. Shivering ceaselessly, he tilted his head upward to the distorted ceiling and closed his eyes, letting the tears rush down his face. He tried to imagine that with each tear, his fear and guilt would slowly leak from within him, leaving only a weightlessness behind. Yet he knew the weightlessness would never come. Ahsoka was gone, left the order, left Coruscant from the last he'd heard, in a search to find herself again... _yet he just couldn't seem to let her go..._

For a few still moments, all he could hear was his unsteady breathing and the endless hum of speeders passing his window. Finally, after the queasiness had begun to subside, Anakin allowed his eyes to drift open to the blurred room, releasing a long, shaky sigh in the process. Despite the itch growing on his face, he didn't raise a hand to clear away the salted liquid still slipping down his cheeks, instead pushing himself off the bed and beginning his restless pacing from one side of his quarters to the other, as he had been doing since the nightmares had started haunting him. He hadn't slept properly in days and it was beginning to grate at his nerves. He knew people were starting to notice; you didn't need to be Force-sensitive to put the puzzle pieces together. He curled his arms around his stomach, feeling the room beginning to close in on him with each stride, like the shadow of the hand that held Ahsoka, keeping him paralysed in place, slowly suffocating him. That hand killed her...i _t killed her! And he did nothing!_

He could only guess that it was the insomnia talking, yet with his sanity gradually slipping away from him, he headed out of the room and took to wandering the large halls of the Temple, his light footsteps the only sound to greet him. Anakin ventured through them aimlessly, not really aware of where he was going, continuing to gaze down at his feet, the throbbing pieces of his heart aching all the more with each passing second. Eventually, he came to a halt in a hallway practically identical to the one before it and glanced down into his reflection bouncing off the moonlit marble. It was contorted, as if it were merely reflecting from a clear stream of water, yet he could make out the striking azure eyes, holding a glassy, wounded look, as if they belonged to a puppy who'd been beaten just too many times for it to handle, and he could see the droplets that still flooded his cheeks, glittering like crystals...

"Anakin?"

Anakin felt his body instantly stiffen at the sound of his name, raising his head in stunned bewilderment to recognise the distinguishing features of Obi-wan Kenobi in the moonlight, who stood in the doorway of his own quarters, his peaceful grey eyes gleaming with concern. His former master looked as sophisticated as ever, which was far from how Anakin appeared, his chocolaty hair ruffled, his robes disheveled, his eyes leaking endlessly... As soon as Anakin's liquified orbs made contact with the Master's, he turned his face from view, attempting feebly to hide what the older man had most likely already seen.

"Master," Anakin mumbled, trying to sound unaffected, yet the quake in his voice easily gave him away. "I was just...just trying too..."

Silence filled the space and Anakin was so distracted by his inner turmoil that he didn't sense Obi-wan slowly moving closer until he felt a hand being placed gently onto his trembling shoulder, causing his muscles to tense, yet he still refused to meet Obi-wan's gaze. He began to recoil from the touch, yet the soothing tone of his former master stopped him.

"Anakin, you should know by now that you can never hide the truth from me, and neither do you need to. You have nothing to be afraid of, neither do you have anything to be ashamed of. Now, please look at me."

Anakin wasn't quite sure what it was - the reassurance in Obi-wan's calming voice or his comforting hand on his shoulder, reminding him of the times when he was a little boy, when even then his stubbornness always seemed to overrule his vulnerability, yet back then it wasn't as simple to conceal his weaknesses; he felt that way now - but he felt himself melting into it instantaneously. He noticed how forlorn and unstable he felt as he turned his head to meet Obi-wan's softened gaze with his watery eyes. Obi-wan merely observed him for a few long moments before wordlessly guiding Anakin into his own quarters and sat him down on top of the bed.

Anakin felt smaller than ever as Obi-wan helped him remove his utility belt and boots before slowly easing him down onto the mattress. Anakin buried his face into the pillow as Obi-wan placed the bed covers over him, his body quaking all the more with the endlessly growing guilt and fear, his stomach tightening queasily. _Urrgghh_...why wouldn't it just leave him alone?

Anakin once again felt himself go rigid as a comforting hand caressed the side of his face, however he sensed himself relaxing as the essence of something familiar made a connection with his shattered soul and sent soothing pulses through the wavelengths of the Force. Anakin didn't even attempt to resist, giving in to Obi-wan's gracious notion to help and felt the stress, the inner agony and the sickening guilt beginning to fade away. His erratic gasps began to steady as he grew more and more comfortable and felt himself completely dissolving into Obi-wan's touch, sending waves of gratitude through the link between them for the assistance that asked for nothing in return.

Through his haze of warmth, Anakin faintly heard Obi-wan murmur in his naturally calming voice, "Relax, Anakin... Just rest now..."

His mentor's reassuring words sent Anakin spiralling down further and further as he allowed his tired eyes to slowly fall shut, giving in to the sleep suggestion that Obi-wan was offering and the exhaustion that had finally caught up with him. After so many sleepless nights, he'd reached the limit he could handle. He just wanted to sleep so he didn't have to feel the pain, so he didn't have to think about Ahsoka...

Yet just before he could fall into the grips of slumber, Obi-wan's voice channeled through the wavelengths between them, penetrating his mind in a condoling whisper: _Anakin, the only way you can move on is to let her go... Let her go, Anakin... Just let go..._

 **Author's Notes: Hey guys! This is the second one-shot I've posted on FanFiction and I hope you all enjoyed it. This story was quite challenging for me, but I loved every minute of creating it. I just hope I managed to keep the characters 'in character'.**

 **Please review!**

 **HeartElyse**


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